Thursday, February 28, 2013

Washing dishes with the gloves off - Free-write 25 (26 'cause I fell asleep on my face mid flow) Feb, 2013

Now she's washing dishes with the gloves off,
Just to feel something
a song grinding in her ear
if only -
really the deciding factor is,
who can you see yourself kissing on the mouth
it's not a regular inclination

she almost breaks a glass.

The night will come down with all its predictable
dead weight
And she will slid under it with a cold sigh
and no accomplice
she keeps replaying -

She had not been watching his lips when he talked

How his flat swam around her warm and
easy like water -
and it had been so cold outside -
every part of this tale tells the same story
from how a coffee cup sits on the table to how
his laughter is a familiar shape -
reminded her of memories she hadn't made yet
and she sat in that water
in her own dirt
getting clean

and he made her giggle - chuckle - choke
til her stomach was in her neck
any second her mind was gonna snap open
and spill her heart all over the floor

these the kind of days that eat time faster
than fucking death or light

And she thought if only -

She was saying to herself
you have to shut up please
shut up please
shut up
and outward a torrent of nonsense
and ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa

against his neck,
she would be quiet -
against his neck -
she kept trying to swallow the
thought down but when that
thought hit her stomach acid it
turned into a bunch of anecdotes she

relayed with the speed and coherence

of a benzedrine addict

she hadn't been watching his mouth when -

and why are certain ways of being
just native when you see it?
Cos you are so awkward even to yourself
so made-up-on-the-spot but this one -
ahhh! he is inevitable - he is - oh man
he is home remembered in a sepia photograph
he is clean as your parents before
they outed themselves as human
(except he is so self-admittedly human!)
And when he asks how she is,
He means it, and is neither
moved nor repulsed by tears
which allows her a rare dignity

She doesn't say: dude - can I sit in your lap?

And she didn't watch his mouth when he spoke
she was sure to look at his nose or thereabouts

He says 'and den' instead of 'and then'
even that shit is cute
Now she's washing dishes with the gloves off
just to feel something
she almost breaks a glass

Coma -